NYC observation #2

now that i'm no longer in new york, i feel like i'm finally in the proper state of mind to reflect on the city and all things big apple.

new york is that place. that city of lights, camera, action. it's the place where everyone with a dream and two pennies to rub together goes to make or break it. sadly, though, it's about the easiest place to break and hardest to get back on your feet. the temptations of the city and the nightlife and the people and things to do- it's all so much. it instantly grabs you and pulls you in while simultaneously pushing you farther and farther away. a friend of mine, upon discovering that i've moved to new york city, commented saying "everything must seem so disconnected now that you live in new york."

ain't that the truth. at the time i said "nah.. not really." but the more i think about it and now that i'm back in the south, it IS true. new york, it's not even that it's a different city. it's that it's a different world. it's like a little microcosm of the world. everything you could want is there. everything you don't want is there. it's vice, it's sin, it's art, it's beauty, it's life. and it's intense.

being back in the south for the less than 24 hours that i've been here has made me remember all the years of nurturing, the lazy genteel way of life, the heat, the drawl. at the same time though, the four month-old cosmopolitan in me is yearning for the city. the smell and the noise and the cramped quarters. the feeling of being so small in the world because everything around you towers over you the way we humans tower over ants. maybe i miss all this because it gives me the feeling that every day that i live there is some sort of achievement in and of itself. it's as though surviving in the city is an accomplishment- i live in new york, and yes, i actually live. quite comfortably. socially, sexually, intellectually, and fashionably (if i may say so myself). i'm not one of those people who just sits around the way i would at home. i can honestly say that while i'm not utilizing the city to even a percentage of the extent i'd like to, i am using it to my advantage. certainly that counts for something.