nice rack, amy sedaris.

i'm not making this up: bitch has a nice set of twins.



so, i've got an itch to watch strangers with candy, partly because amy sedaris is, at times, comedic genius, and partly because i have a girlcrush on stephen colbert and he's sooo deliciously not-gay in the movie. it's top notch cinema, really.

i haven't updated in quite a while because i've been far too emo to write anything but depressing entries in my other more emo-friendly blog, so here goes:

other than my strangers with candy jones and tons of mix cds [fuck itunes mixes sent via bluetooth, i'm going ooooold schoool on y'alls asses] that i've been burning lately, i haven't been doing much of anything. my room is getting cooler and cooler by the day because i've got time to arrange my furniture the way i want it in anticipation of the dresser that i'll be getting.. any day now.. once we go and actually buy one.. i've also printed copious amounts of pictures from my SD card and have picture boards galore to remind me of all the beautiful people in new york, new orleans, and austin that i lurve and the hilarious, fascinating and glamorous mtv reality show-worthy times we've had. mmm, my life used to be so exciting. i feel like a fourty-five year old semi-menopausal woman with stringy, mousy-brown hair remembering all the fun one-night stands i used to have back in my twenties when i was still delightfully slutty, before i saddled myself down with an accountant husband and nothing but two step-children to show for it because my icy, barren womb produced no offspring of my own, thus making me completely undesirable to any handsome, successful marriage-minded men other than the aforementioned accountant who doesn't weight fifty pounds on the handsome scale soaking wet with two bricks in his back pockets. lucky for me, i'm sexy as hell and so is mah man, my hair is shiny and voluminous, and my womb is a warm, lush environment, so life couldn't possibly get that bad [even if i am stuck in screwston, texas for the duration].

but i digress..

i've got my first paying gig coming up on monday, i'm pretty excited. it's not even the job that excites me as much as the money does. i am broke, which is not an attractive financial state for a young, hot to trot girl with dreams of every-other weekend booty calls to new york city. that shit don't come cheap and the contents of my savings jar just ain't cutting it. [the jar itself, though, is reeeally cute. in a past life, it was a jar of neutrogena deep conditioner that i couldn't bear to part with, so instead of trashing it, i made a rainbow-colored sticker for that says 'savings' and kept it around to toss spare change and dollar bills into. i think i've got something like three dollars in nickels and dimes, but don't get it twisted: there are a few quarters in there too. i know, you're impressed.]

paying gig aside, i've been sending out my resumé, which is very impressive if i do say so myself, and i've gotten a few call backs for interviews. hopefully one of these interviews will be with an executive who sees my potential and hires me on for a twenty dollar an hour position as a receptionist in a high-rise downtown where i can finally wear all of my three inch heels again and silk blouses with pencil skirts and no pantyhose. okay, so my mind is still stuck in new york, because we know that that's a bit too metropolitan for a nineteen year old seeking an office management position in houston, texas. i'll probably end up at a law firm or medical office answering phones and filing shit for ten bucks an hour. a girl can dream, though.

i think i'm finally going to go get a haircut this weekend. i've been saying i'm only going to get a trim so my hair can continue to grow but i think i'll go a little shorter and regain some of my former glory. the only person who wants to see me with long hair, it seems, is my dad and that is the only opinion that frankly my dear, i just don't give a damn about. i really miss the hard line of my angled bob [and yeah, maybe i miss all the compliments that i used to get a little bit]. we'll see though, because i've still got a soft spot for that damn selma blair gap ad. i don't know if i have the guts to cut it all off and i'm sure it would cause quite a stir, especially considering the fact that within the last month or so my older sister cut all of HER hair off. and i mean ALLLL of it. she's rockin this cute ass curly mini-fro. regardless of whether i pixie my shit, go back to the angled bob that has done me so right, or grow it alll the way our, the point is: SOMETHING will happen to my hair. soon.



well, at the risk of this post getting too long to be entertaining anymore, i leave you with a currently untitled playlist that has been getting a LOT of love on my itunes.

1. The Knux- 'Cappuccino' -- cop this shit, son. this is the first track from two brothers from new orleans, currently residing in L.A. who, judging by this track, are going to be shiiiiive.
2. The Notorious B.I.G.- 'Unbelievable' -- it's an oldie, but come on. Big Poppa AND an R. Kelly 'your body's calling' sample? yes, please. [And if you don't know, now ya know, nigga.]
3. The Fixxers- 'Can You Werk With That' -- Catchy catchy catchy.
4. Kelis feat. Andre 3000- 'Millionaire' -- the song is a bit old, but it's a gem. we know i'm always a fan of Kelis and of course, Andre 3000, whose always-genius flow goes particularly hard when he tells us to reboot the computer of our life. the beat is pretty hot too.
5. Snoop Dogg- 'Sexual Eruption' -- 'Sensual Seduction' for those of you who take offense with an orgasm reference. a rapper talking about getting his girl off [for a change]..? i'm all for it. plus, if you were friends with ronnie brown, you'd love this too if for no other reason than him singing "if you don't know by now, ronnie brown is a freeeaaak, freeeaaak, freeeaaak.." this also happens to be my favorite music video from a mainstream rapper. check it out at the end of this post.
6. Rye Rye- 'Shake It To The Ground' -- M.I.A.'s protegé from Baltimore. she sounds twelve. i have no idea how old she really is. twelve or twenty, this song makes me want to bop my ass.
7. Lupe Fiasco feat. Thom Yorke, Kanye West, & Pharrell Williams- 'US Placers' -- the beat is Yorke's song 'The Erasers', the title track [and my favorite] from his solo album of the same name.
8. Lil Wayne feat. The Cool Kids- Gettin' It -- my hometown homie Lil Wayne + my duo du jour The Cool Kids.. TOGETHER!?!? whaaaa??
9. Kid Sister- Control -- i dig that Chicago twang honey's rockin when she says "contrawhl" and the breakdown is hawt. really though, i just have a natural affinity to all things kanye west. but kid sister is DEFINITELY hot in her own right.
10. Spank Rock feat. Amanda Blank- Loose -- i just like singing a chorus like "she ain't nothin' but a hoochie mama", and it's hard to not sit up and take notice when Amanda Blank takes the mic. i think it's safe to say that she's the baddest [white] bitch since k-sizzle and, well.. me [but i mean, i AM half-black, so i've got a bit of a leg up. for once, being black is good for something other than that whole booty-dancing thing]. plus, "deez nuts" is pretty much a shout out to yours truly and my homie Thugnificent. i think it's time for me to introduce Spank Rock to dienda, though.
BONUS TRACK [just for fun]: Girl Talk- 'Once Again' -- besides putting D-Roc from the Ying Yang Twins whisper-rapping "Wait til you see my dick" [from 'The Whisper Song' by' Hotlanta's favorite vertically challenged rap duo] over 'Bittersweet Symphony, the first song Girl Talk [a.k.a. Greg Gillis] samples on this track is 'Foreplay' by Boston. 'nuff said.

i couldn't get the video to embed, so here's a link to what is quickly becoming my favorite hip hop video of the moment:

'SEXUAL ERUPTION' by SNOOP DOGG